By Ms. Teri
Years ago, I spent some time as the feature editor at a
small-town Texas newspaper. I grew up in Florida so it was fun to pick up
stakes and move to the bigger, broader, taller-tale-d flatlands of Texas. I
still miss the barbeque and Tex-Mex restaurants there that served platters of
food for one that would feed an entire herd of cowboys.
Every Friday night after work, a group of us would head out
to a finger-lickin’, butt-kicking bar to toss back a few margaritas and some
ribs. One night, my friend Laura had way too many margaritas and started
telling funny stories about her husband. When the waitress brought our chips
and guacamole, she brought a bowl of jalapeño peppers. I had never heard of
jalapeños let alone tasted one, but I had had enough margaritas to bravely try
one. That was my first mistake. My eyes were watering, my mouth was burning and
my stomach felt like it was on fire. It was all I could do to sit there and
pretend nothing was going on. I needed another margarita, fast!
Laura just laughed and proceeded to tell us about the time
her husband Jim entered and won a jalapeño eating contest. They do things like
that in Texas. Although, I guess Florida
is just as whacky, there were restaurants there that served “gator.” Laura’s
story led to a competition among the group as to who had the funniest jalapeño
story to tell, but it was Laura who topped them all.
She and Jim had been married for three years at the time and
decided to celebrate their anniversary with margaritas and spicy Tex-Mex food.
They both had more than enough to drink and had topped their tacos with
jalapeños. By the time they got home, the food wasn’t the only heat they’d had
that night. They were super hot for each other and wanted to celebrate their
anniversary with a night of spicy lovemaking. But first, Laura needed to run
into the bathroom to put in her diaphragm.
Who knew that the heat from touching those jalapeños would
provide a LOT more spice than Laura bargained for from her diaphragm? She could
not believe the heat. . . and the pain. She had to go to the emergency room
and, on top of that, she had to explain to the doctors and nurses exactly what
had happened to her. It took weeks for
her to recover, from the burn AND from the embarrassment. Jim had to take many
cold showers, and their anniversary night of spicy food and lovemaking was a
total bust.
I guess the moral of this story is that if you want to have
a fun night of wild hot sex, don’t have jalapeños. Or, if you have jalapeños, be sure to wash your hands before
you make love.
Yes, there is HOT love and then there is SIZZLING HOT love
like the love stories in the TruLOVE Collection, WHEN LOVE SIZZLES. Laura, this
one’s for you!
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